How to be present for your kids on the days you don’t feel like being a mama

present mama

Hi gorgeous mama,

So I just want to put it out there, being a mama is one of the most extraordinarily contradictory things I have ever done.

Its a roller coaster of emotions, feelings and has broken my heart wide open to so much love, frustration, transformation that I never knew I was capable of.

And don’t get me wrong I absolutely love my kids more than its possible to put into words, and would give my life for them.

Now I don’t want to sound like a whinger, because I am truly blessed and love my life.

But I am human and have hard days.

We have so much stuff going on that we have to work through, as well as being there for our kids.

Lets face it probably one of the my biggest fears as a mama is that somehow I’m going to pass on all of my issues to my kids and mess them up big time – am I alone in feeling this way?

We are trying to be there for our kids, trying to fix all the stuff that comes up from our challenging childhoods so we can heal our inner child, and not pass it onto our kids.

But some days I feel really down on myself.

So how on those days when you feel really crappy for one reason or another do you still show up and be present for your kids?

Now if you’re sitting there, going I don’t know what she’s talking about, I never feel like this – then codos to you – and please click away now.

Because there is nothing here for you.

But if you are out there going, yes, that’s me and you are ready to sit up and take ownership of your crap.

Welcome soul sister, we have much journeying to do together.

You know those days when you hear the kids start to russle, you roll over to see the time to realise the birds haven’t even woken up.

And all you want to do is pull the covers over your head for a another hour (or 24 lol) of sleep.

Lets face it if I said that for all 24 hours of everyday of the year, I rolled out of bed with a spring in my step, greeting the day with a big smile and our days were full of magic, fairies and laughter, then I would be lying.

Yes I love my kids unconditionally and more than it is possible to put into words, but some days I barely have enough umph to be able to get myself up and going, let alone my kids.

I don’t want to get up early, wipe bums, and clean up poo, spilled food, vomit, the mess, sweep out sand, or tackle the pile of dishes or washing to fold.

And what about that mess in the bathroom.

But hey the truth of the matter is that we don’t get to choose when we can be a mama or not.

When we signed up we signed up for life.

Whether you like it or not, on the days that you don’t feel like dealing with your stuff so you can be there for your kids – well we kind of have to, don’t we?

Its a 24/7 365 day full time, no holidays, no sick days, less sleep, job that we have to turn up to.

And we do.

And if that’s not love then I don’t know what is.

So how on those days that you feel really crappy and want to hide under the covers, do you turn it around:

Time for you

Take these feelings as a sign that you have neglecting the most important person – You.

Become aware of this way you are feeling and use this as your barometer for self care.

When was the last time you invested in some good ole self lovin? (cue Barry White) – not that kind of self loving – well if you want to.

The kind of self loving, for your body mind and soul.

Something to make you feel like the delicious goddess that you are.

Spending some time alone in quiet contemplation, or even just a warm cup of tea, can do wonders.

And what ever self-care looks like for you take this as a sign its time.

And whether its an all day thing, an hour, a nap when your kids do – is totally up to you.

But you just have to do it, and you just have to make time.

You, your soul and your family will thank you for it.


I know we hear about this one all of the time…but that’s because it works.

Gratitude is by far the most powerful force in the Universe to turn how you are feeling around quick smart.

Find something in that moment to be grateful for – not possible?

Try harder.

Perhaps its that you get to be inside in your pjs while everyone else braves the cold as they go to work.

Or maybe its the warm cuppa you get to have.

Or maybe its the roof over your head, or the laughter of your kids.

Or maybe is just that your kids love the utter crap out of you even through you’re not a morning person, or a grumpy bum, with your morning breath and crazy bed hair – that’s pretty darn special if you ask me.

What ever it is, find something to be grateful for in that moment.

And you will feel something shift.


Special quiet time

Instill this concept in your children, so they understand when you are feeling a bit off, and need to go and help yourself feel better.

Get them sorted out with some activities, making sure they have everything they need, and are safe.

Then let them know you need to go and have some special quiet time – for me its a quick meditation in my back room, or a quick aura cleanse, or some sun salutes, a bit of EFT, or even just some tapping on your third eye and sweeping the energy away.

Ok yes I admit – I have even been known to scream into a pillow like a child on those really bad days (please don’t tell anyone – I did feel so much better).


Go to bed earlier

I know this is a tricky one especially for me – because I do all of my client sessions and business stuff in the evenings.

So if you can’t make it to bed a little earlier every night, aim for one night per week.

Put in in your calendar, and aim to be in bed a couple of hours earlier than usual.

If you are anything like me – you will wake up feeling like a new woman refreshed with all of your delicious energy ready to take on the world.


Get Some Help

Seriously why do we think we have to do things by ourselves.

It truly does take a village to raise a child, so if you have more that one child, you need a couple of villages.

So that doesn’t necessarily mean that you just hand your kids over to someone.

But find things to make your life easier.

Take all offers of help, even if its just for an hour, so you can duck to the shops by yourself, or even better get the groceries delivered.

Consider getting a cleaner or housekeeper in once a fortnight to help out – yes you do deserve it.

Find people who love to do the jobs you dislike – like ironing lol.

If you don’t have family close, or aren’t close with your family, consider making an agreement with a friend that you take it in turns watching each others kids for a few hours a week, so you both get a break.

Get a support network that you can lean on when you feel like having a vent or need some help to be lifted up.

You are only limited by your imagination to find your village.


Appreciate Yourself

Give yourself a break.

Motherhood is one of the most challenging, rewarding, roller coaster, transforming, love bursting absolutely deliciously glorious and down right frustrating all at the same time roles you will ever do.

It is a magnificent jumble of perfect contradictions that you are doing outstandingly.

Acknowledge when you have an amazing day or a good day – when you manage to get the clothes folded, or the toilet cleaned, or the clothes hung out on the day you actually wash them.

Give yourself a hug, a high five, some little praises along the way, send yourself some flowers.

Take the time to appreciate you first, and then others will start to.

But it all starts with YOU beautiful mama soul.

And of course this isn’t the end of the list of things you can do –

get your body moving, go for a walk, put on some tunes and dance around the lounge room,

play with your kids,

wrestle with them,

and of course there is always the savior of red wine and chocolate (after they are in bed of course lol).

And then if you’ve done all of the stuff to try and turn things around, and it still won’t shift.

Some days its truly ok to just surrender to how you are feeling.

Just let what ever you are feeling be, and ride the roller coaster of life.

And if this is how you feel…I wrote this for you.

So now its your turn.

Tell me what you do to turn yourself around when you aren’t feeling the mama mojo?

Leave me a comment below and if you like this post feel free to share it with your friends.

Love and gratitude gorgeous mama soul

Megan Koufos


megan koufos